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Title: Enough – Part 3 – Coffee Date
Author: Xanfan
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Pairing: mentions of B/R and Xander/Anya with a possible future slash
Summary: Xander confronts Buffy about her feelings for Riley.
Spoilers: After The Replacement, season five
Warnings: AU, possible M/M in the future.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective
owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way
associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is
intended.
A/N: A day or two after The Replacement. Goes AU after that.
_________________________________
Buffy played with the straw in her blended coffee while she waited for Anya to show up. She wasn’t sure
what she was going to say, exactly, but she knew she needed to say something to the former demon
about her relationship with Xander.
After Xander’s talk with her about her treatment of Riley and her subsequent talk and break-up with
Riley, Buffy had tried to have this conversation in her head many times. Unfortunately, it was kind of
hard to predict Anya’s reactions to anything, so the imaginary confrontation hadn’t really progressed
beyond, ‘Hi, Anya.’
Buffy sighed and continued to fiddle with her straw.
“Hi Buffy. What serious conversation did you call me here to have?” Anya asked in her perfunctory
manner.
The blonde Slayer gave a little yelp of surprise at Anya’s sudden appearance.
Anya pulled out the chair opposite Buffy and sat down, placing her coffee on the table.
“You know, for a mystically empowered warrior for the Light, you are surprisingly easy to sneak up on,”
Anya observed.
“Yeah, well…” Buffy said eloquently, before trailing off and fiddling with her drink again.
“So, why am I here?” Anya asked again.
“Do you love him?” Buffy blurted out.
Anya stared back at her in confusion. “Who?”
“Xander,” Buffy replied with an accompanying eye roll.
“Of course I…”
“Really? Like totally and completely in love or you just like him a whole lot?” Buffy asked in challenge
and genuine interest.
Anya opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking stumped.
“Why are you asking me this?” Anya questioned.
“Because he’s my friend and I’m trying to be his. And he thinks you don’t. Love him.”
“What do you mean?”
“He told me that when you first got together, you were lost and confused and didn’t know how to ask for
help, so you slept with him to get him to help you understand your ‘new life’. He didn’t know that at the
beginning, but he does now,” Buffy said, not beating around the bush.
The former vengeance demon actually blushed.
“The thing is, Anya… you didn’t have to have sex with him to get his help and friendship. He would have
helped you for no other reason than because you asked. If you had asked, that is.”
“I know,” Anya whispered.
“What?!?” Buffy practically shouted.
“I know that now. I didn’t then, I didn’t even understand what I needed, I just knew I needed something.
And now he’s here and he loves me and I like being loved. He is very good at loving people. And I want
what every human girl wants now, a family and a home and someone to love me. He can give that to me,
he already does,” Anya said desperately.
“But do you love him?” Buffy asked quietly.
Anya gazed down at her hands twisting in her lap and took a few deep breaths. When she looked back
up, her eyes were filled with confusion.
“How do I know if I love him?”
Buffy’s heart went out to the woman across from her. Anya was genuinely distressed.
“All those things you mentioned, the family and the home and the love, do you want them with Xander or
do you want them with anyone and Xander will do?” Buffy asked.
Anya’s face crumpled and Buffy’s heart broke for her and for Xander.
“I…Xander was the first and sometimes only person to ever actually care about me and want to help me.
I don’t want to hurt him.”
Buffy moved to sit closer to Anya and put a hand on her shoulder to pat her in an awkward attempt at
comfort.
“I know you don’t,” Buffy said, “But it will be better in the long run if you do something now… otherwise,
you’ll just end up hating each other. That’s how it was with my parents before their divorce.”
“What if I still need help understanding things?” Anya asked.
“I’m here and I’ll try to help, but you know what? I bet Xander would still be willing to help you if you
asked. He’s good that way,” Buffy assured her.
Anya sniffed loudly. “What if I never find someone else as good as Xander or who loves me as much as
he does?”
“I’d love to say you will, no problem. But there aren’t many people like Xander in the world and he does
have an amazing capacity to love. There are no guarantees, it’s a sad fact of being human. There is a
chance that you’ll find someone who fits you, who loves you the way you want and need to be loved, and
someone that you can love in return.” Buffy said with conviction.
“Really?” Anya asked genuinely.
For the first time, Buffy got why Xander was so patient and willing to help the ex-demon: it was the
childlike trust and openness that accompanied the questions. Buffy vowed to try and be a real friend to
Anya and help her understand the world a little better.
“Really,” Buffy said.
“What am I going to tell Xander?”
“The truth?” Buffy suggested.
“Won’t that be horrifically painful?” Anya asked.
“For which one of you?” Buffy asked.
“Both?” Anya said sadly.
Buffy smiled slightly. “It might. But you still should tell him the truth. Especially the bit about him being
good at loving people, that might help some.”
“Why are you doing this now?” Anya asked.
A self-deprecating smile graced Buffy’s lips. “Xander and I had a similar conversation the other evening.
It opened my eyes to a lot of things. I’m just trying to repay the favor.”
Anya looked Buffy over with a shrewd eye. “Xander called you on your treatment of Riley and you broke
up with the hunky soldier and now you want me to break up with Xander. Is it pay back?”
“NO! It’s not like that. I didn’t come here to try and get you to break up with Xander. I came here to get
you to realize that things weren’t exactly right in your relationship. What Xander did for me and Riley was
a good thing. Yeah, we did break up, but it was for the best. I don’t want Xander hurt anymore than you
do. I just want him to be loved like he deserves to be loved, and it didn’t really seem like that was
happening. Even though I could tell you cared about him in your own special way,” Buffy explained.
Apparently Anya believed her, because she nodded in agreement. Buffy was slightly worried over the
calculating look that entered the other woman’s eyes.
“So, both our boyfriends deserve someone better than us?” Anya asked.
“I guess,” Buffy answered hesitantly.
“Then we had better find someone better than us for them,” Anya stated firmly.
And Buffy knew real fear.
Part 4
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